Yesterday I went to Baby Lock UK to do a 1 day workshop. It was for a machine I'd bought, on a whim, in January 2021.
On the journey there (vile driving conditions), I found myself thinking about why it had taken me so long to do this. I worked backwards.
I'd had a course booked for October last year, which was cancelled because of lack of interest. I'd booked that around January 2023, I think. So why had it taken me two years to book it?
I remembered that I'd had trouble finding a course.... and then I was overcome a wave of self pity as I realised that when I bought the machine, on impulse after seeing an online demo, I was well. And then I wasn't well, and the being unwell and trying to manage it all had taken over my life. I hadn't been able to do anything.
I really did feel sorry for myself. I felt sorry that I was such a shell of my former self. That I was reduced celebrating such tiny achievements.
I shook the sensation off before it settled too much. No point in wallowing, and many people would be happy to have only my problems.
I reminded myself that I was well enough to drive myself to the Workshop, do the Workshop and drive home... and a year ago, that wouldn't have been thinkable, so I should be grateful for the wins.
This morning, I again thought about before all this started. I decided I need to push again to try and get some help identifying what is actually causing the problem, and I'm going to the surgery to try and make an appointment (rather than phoning, where I'll be told to fill in a econsult. which is hard to do when I', taking about an issue which has been ongoing for 2 years and 7 momths now.
