A couple of days ago, Miss Teen asked if she could stay over on Tuesday night. I was really pleased, and asked her to bring clothes she didn't mind getting filthy, as we needed to clean the chicken coops. She agreed.
When she arrived yesterday, she mentioned that she was going out on Wednesday afternoon. I said that was fine, I had a hospital appointment anyway, so we'd need to get up early to do the coops. I already knew she wasn't going to get up.
This morning, I was out doing the coops by 8.30, a little later than I had planned (rough night). She didn't appear, of course, but I had expected this was the case.
It was hard work on my back and my feet.
I did both coops, taking them apart, emptying them, cleaning everything, moving the removable bits round to the patio so they could dry in the sun. I disinfected them both, and I disinfected all the parts. I started on the 3rd coop, the one for the newbies, while I was waiting for the other two to dry off.
I came in to the house briefly - can't remember why - and Miss Teen was sitting in the kitchen eating pancakes. I was filled with momentary annoyance, and found myself saying "Thanks for your help"... and aslking back out again.
The momentary annoyance subsided, but I was feeling quite... hurt. It was one thing for her to not get up, but to get up and see me doing it all and then stopping to make and eat pancakes was just really not on.
She knows I'm not particularly able bodied at the moment!
I know she's a teenager, that's why I wasn't annoyed when she failed to show up. But the getting up, realising I'd been out there for an hour and a half already, seeing that I was still going, and then not coming out to say anything, and then casually making herself pancakes..... That was just not on.
I thought about the best way to handle it, I didn't want to overreact but I did want her to understand what had happened. I decided that when she apologised, I'd ask her what she was apologising for. I expected that she would say "for not getting up", and I would say that she didn't need t apologise for that, I had realised she wasn't going to get up. And then I'd explain what it was that had upset me. I felt quite calm by then.
I finished what I was doing, put everything back together, refilled the nestboxes, put everything away. I came back in when all was done, and went to have a shower. When I'd finished, DH brought me a cup of tea and said that Miss Teen's mum was collecting her any minute.
I got dressed, came downstairs, and Miss Teen reappeared (having gone off to put her makeup on). I swallowed my hurt, and we chatted for a few mins while I got the stuff out to make breakfast.
No apology, nothing.
If her Mum's arrival hadn't been imminent, I would have brought the subject up. But it was, and I didn't.
She went off cheerily, saying she'd see us on Tuesday.
