I mentioned a few weeks ago that I'd had some impulse purchases and I was expecting Buyer Remorse to kick in.
One of the purchases was a Renpho neck massager.Its a weird thing, like a scarf with slings for one's arms. There are rotating massaging things which roll and squeeze, and it's heated. It also has three intensity settings, which I initially described as ranging from "Ow!" to "F*cking OW!",
I then learned that there is a switch so iI can reverse the direction of the rolling and squeezing, and I can move it around so its rolling and squeezing more or less where I need it to. Once I'd got that sorted out (and put the heat on) it no longer hurt on the lower setting. I revised my "Ow!" description to "ooh, not bad"
I gave myself a couple of short sessions, and then I did one really long session, which really did seem therapeutic. I was a little surprised, I hadn't really thought it would work, I was just desperate enough to try anything.
I had a session with my Chiro about a week after that, and she asked me if I'd had any other treatments since I last saw her. I said no, and she checked specifically that I hadn't seen the Physio, or anything. and It was only later I realised that my Renpho might have made an improvement. I suppose it could be the sleep bra. Or a combination.
This cheered me up, and prompted me to try and think of all the thing which feel better/less bad than they have been in the almopst-2 years since "all this" started, (I'm putting that in so I don't completely forget that there was a time when I didn't have any of this going on. I've forgotten what it felt like, but I'm not yet ready to forget that such a time existed).
It was a good thing to do, and it made me feel quite sunny.
....
A couple of nights ago, I managed to deactivate the NightShift device. It needed charging, so it was only buzzing once when I turned it on, and it's the same buzz then for turning on and turning off. I suspect I turned it on when I put it on, and then "turned it on" (that is, turned it off, thinking I was turning it on) when I got into bed.
However it happened, the end result was I woke up in the night, but I was on my back, and my back and head were throbbing. I managed to sit up while everything drained, but it was very painful. Thank goodness for my Wellue ring, which woke me because my o2 levels were low.
In the morning, after more than the usual interruptions, I felt like crap. I felt like I was carrying a rolled up carpet around my neck and back. I used most of the hot water (my husband is so kind about me doing that) trying to ease the pain. I concentrated on working out exactly where I was feeling the pain, and trying to describe it to myself.
My face was swollen, the back of my head hurt and had some squidgy bits, it wasn't great.
On the plus side, it confirmed (in case I had forgotten) that the devices are helping. It also reminded me - in case I needed reminding - that I am not actually getting better, I'm just getting better at managing the symptoms. I resolved to phone and chase my hospital referral. I resolved to contact the Apnoea consultant.
Once again, I failed on both counts. But I'm still resolved to doing it. Soon. Really.
Yesterday was not a good night. Better than the one where I'd stuffed up, but not great. I'm now in discomfort rather than pain though, I'm not carrying a carpet now, but I do have someone's knee in my back (or I've been punched in the back, I can't decide which description is more accurate).
I know it'll get better, so I'm once again thinking about the things which are better than they have been (in the last 2 years).
............
I'm sitting with the Renpho on again as I type, and it really does seem to be helping. If I get it in the right place, the squeezing part of the motion is soothing rather than painful. I'm still only on intensity 1.
