Friday 24 May 2019

Little Shop of Horrors

We often use the AudreyII voice singing "Feed Me!!  Feed Me Now!!" when imitating the cats demanding food.

Some time ago I explained to Miss Tween that it was from Little Shop of Horrors and I 'sang' snippets like "Feed me Seymour" for her.  It turned out that her Drama club had  the title song one term.

She wanted to see the film.

Last time she stayed I bought a used DVD, which turned out to be a much older version.  I bought the correct version, and it has been sitting by the TV for ages waiting for an opportunity to be played.  DH didn't want to watch it again (we've seen it before, AND we've seen the stage show).

We watched it yesterday.

I hadn't realised that there were so many things that I was going to have to explain.

Whenever Miss Tween asks me anything potentially embarrassing,  I make sure that I reply factually and in the same way I would as if she asked me, for example, "what's 2 plus 2?".    It's important that I don't appear embarrassed, as I want her to feel comfortable asking about anything.

First thing.  Steve Martin appears as the sadistic dentist . Audrey gets on his bike, and he asks if she has the handcuffs.  "Why does he want her to have handcuffs"  "Because some people like to be tied up when they have sex" "That's weird!" 

Second thing: The Dentist is singing away, causing pain to all his patients. "Why does he do that?" - "Because he's a sadist" "What's a sadist?" "Someone who likes to cause pain to people"

Third thing: Bill Murray is waiting to be seen by the Dentist. When his turn comes, he's enjoying the pain "Why is he enjoying it?" - "Because he's a masochist" - "What's a masochist?"  "Someone who likes pain".  "That's just weird!"

So far, so good.  (Although I'm sure her parents are going to wonder what I've been letting her watch if she starts coming out with this sort of stuff).

Fourth thing: AudreyII is singing, and in the song describes himself as a "Mean Mother*". What does that mean?

I failed. I strayed from my strategy.

I should, of course, have just answered her question with "It's short for Motherf****r and it's a really unpleasant swear word. Your Nan hated it more that any other word".

But I didn't.

Instead I said "It's short for a really horrible swear word".
"What word?"  "I'm not going to tell you,  it's really unpleasant".
 Later: "What word?"  "I'm not going to tell you.  Your Nan absolutely hated this word, and she'd be mortified if I told you".
This morning: "What word?"  "It's just an abbreviation for a really unpleasant swear word.  You'll know it when you hear it.  I swear a lot and I don't use it".

I can't give in and tell her now because she'll think that nagging will wear me down.

But I won't make the mistake again. My usual approach is definitely the right one!



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