Wednesday, 30 August 2017

Small Person - Final week

Small Person has just left with her Mum, and the house is very quiet.   It's most likely that we won't see her again until the October half-term,  which gives me time to get the house tidied up and my (our)  batteries recharged.

This week we only had the pleasure of her company for 2 days, but they were really hectic. 

Yesterday she and I spent 3 hours at the allotment doing the late summer deep cleaning of all the coops.   She wanted to have a go at everything, and I wanted to make sure that everything was done thoroughly, which meant I had to take the time to show her how to use the sprayer etc properly.  

On the way home we discussed whether to buy  bagels for late lunch on the way home when we were both covered in Stalosan, Diatom, and chicken poo,  or to come out again later after a shower.    Her tummy won, and w etried to buy Bagels at our local Co-op (or Coop  as Small Person, understandably, thinks its pronounced) on the way home.  No bagels.

I tried out local petrol station, and they had some.  So, home,  bagels, and then showers.

I desperately wanted to sit down (and have a Nana nap,  something I don't often do!).  Instead, we played with the chicks, I taught her how to get them to fly up on to her arm.    She had been such a help, and her shoes were in such a state from c*ap at the allotment, that I thought I'd try and buy her a replacement pair. We bought her these  pink shoes last half term, and she's worn them to death. We went to the local town and found a similar pair, not pink. I also suggested we looked in the shop for a plain tee shirt that I could embroider for her.  No luck.  All the Small People stuff was already awash with designs.

On the way back to the car,  we were walking past Next,  so we popped in and had a look there.  I got her to try on some tops for size,  and we ended up buying a couple of multipacks.  This means I can embroider something now,  and have some in stock to do for her over the next few months.

Dinner was entrecote steak with dauphinoise potatoes.  I cooked the steaks very very rare (which is how she has it),  and she really enjoyed that.  She didn't mind the potatoes, but she did try and hide some under her knife so I know they weren't her favourite thing.    One of the things I really love about having her is that (with some exceptions) food isn't a drama.  She eats most things,  she'll try most things,  and she likes proper food.

Curse of the Were Rabbit and Great British Bake Off , and she went to bed. She slep until 9.30 this morning, which was not a surprise AND a complete surprise all in one.

Today was manic.    We started, as usual, with her making Nutella pancakes.  She'd had them as a treat for lunch as well one day last week,  and we were trying to replicate what the restaurant had done.   We nailed it today,  with me putting some nutella in a bowl in some warm water to loosen it, and suggesting that she added some baking powder to her batter.

The loop for her phone case (made by me) fell apart yesterday, meaning the case is useless, and I really wanted to make her a replacement.  She chose the fabrics last night , and I started to do the cutting out, and setting up the embroidery machine this morning.  I'm still not familiar with the machine, and it's a hideously complicated design (with extra back pocket, a tab, and goodness knows what else)  so it was taking a while. 

After I'd finally cut the mountain of pieces, in various fabrics and interfacings, Small Person announced that her Mum had found the Homework Sheet. This sheet had mysteriously disappeared some weeks ago and hadn't turned up despite me asking SP at the beginning of each week if she had homework to do.   

She had 8 pieces of homework to do.  We'd sort of done 1, getting her to practice her Maths, but that left 7 pieces to be completed by Wednesday.      She picked a large project one to tackle (A Skill I've Learned in the Holidays) which had to be detailed and include photographs (i.e. proof).  For the next few hours I battled rying to concentrate on sewing while trying to answer her questions and help her think about how how to tackle the project and then how to do each bit of it.

I had to help her articulate each bit of the skill,  and this involved asking her questions and getting her to really explain,  and then how to word it so anyone who doesn't have this skill could understand.

It was painful.   She has the attention span of a flea.   We'd have a breakthrough in terms of her being able to describe something, and she'd start to write it - but she'd lose steam before the words were written down.   She gets very frustrated with herself, and expends a lot of time and energygetting huffy, annoyed, fed up, etc.  We talked about how pointless that is. I was unpicking stitches at the time and I explained that I was frustrated that I'd made a mistake, but instead of getting cross and wasting energy on being frustrated and moaning about it,  I was instead just unpicking it and getting on with it.

I had to check her work for her, and go through spellings, but we got there in the end.   She then started on her second project which was a textile project.  I gave up all hope of doing the phone case,  and helped her plan her work and helped her find textiles with different textures.

DH and I had to pop out to the DIY shop (old farts discount day), and she asked to be left at home ("to finish my homework").   I agreed, after a moments hesitation,  and explained that we were leaving her at home to finish her homework, and that we expected the homework to be finished.   We gave her some rules about not going out,  not letting anyone in,  what to do if a parcel was delivered, answered her catastophising questions ("what if they say an adult has to sign?").   She asked if she was allowed to have a "short break" ("Of course, as long as the homework is finished by the time we get back. And by 'finished', I mean.... " blah blah).  I've learned that being specific avoids misunderstandings (and takes out wriggle room).

I finished by saying that we were trusting her with this, and if she let us down, well, we wouldn't trust her to stay at home on her own again.

It was fine.  She did the homework (she sent me a WhatsApp part way through to show me her progress.  She later told me that she'd also had a go on  the running machine, had been out to play with the chicks, had stroked the cat....   But her homework was finished to the exact point we'd agreed.

I then had to print out two photos to go on the first but of homework, and get her organised with all her stuff at the door. And then get her to clear up the detritis of her homework,  and her snacks.  She put the chooks away for me, and then her Mum arrived.

I'm knackered, but I'm pleased to have seen so much of her for the holidays. It won't be long before she'll be too old to enjoy coming over and spending time with us

Thursday, 24 August 2017


I've had no enthusiasm for tidying, housework, embroidery or sewing since DH fell off the shed roof. 

Today I gritted my teeth, and attempted to Get On With It.

GOWI involved firing up the heat press and pressing a massive pile of tee shirts.  And then going in the loft,  retreiveing some bee-keeping related paraphernalia and bringing it downstairs to donate to an acquantance who has started beekeeping.

And in the space created,  I put the flat pack boxes which have been junking up one of the rooms for the past 6 months (or so).  And I brought down a couple of other items which I've advertised as giveaways on our local facebook page,   some items which I'm attempting to sell,  and some items for a charity shop.   Then I did a small amount of clearing up in the ex-box room,  and threw away some fabric remnants (into a textile bag to take to the recycling centre).  I saw a post asking for beer making stuff, so I retrieved some items from the loft, and answered the request.  The hall is now awash with stuff awaiting collection.

I put the enormous bag of polysturene beads, bought to make an arm rest for DH, in the loft.  Unfortunately the bag split, and the balls started haemorrhaging all over the loft. I had to call DH to get the sellotape while I held my hand on the wound to stop the beads escaping.  I taped it up and then put the bag in two bin bags, and finally hoovered up.  I had to hoover the landing as well, because those balls got everywhere.  The landing was a bit surprised at being hoovered, I suspect.

The other milestone moment is that we took down the hoist in the bedroom!   DH's arm is still very weak,  but he's decided he can manage to get out of bed without using the hoist now.     Currently it's dismantled and lying on the massage couch. It weights a lot and we've no where to store it yet,  we need to do a bit more loft clearance!

I'm not sure I'll continue with GOWI tomorrow, but I will try.

Herbert, Sherbert, and Fizz(bert)


I've tried out several names for the 3 chicks, and these are the stickiest ones so far,

Herbert is the Vorwerk boy (probably). 

Sherbert and Fizz(bert) are 'Legcanas' (Leghorn/Araucana cross. No idea which is the male/female side( .  They've both got sort of Leghorn tails. They're combs look like they're going to be Araucana-ish.  Sherbert has sideburns (like an Araucana),  and Fizz(bert) has a clean face like a Leghorn.  At least that's how it seems at the moment.  Hopefully they'll be laying blue eggs.  

Small Person wanted me to call one of the Girls "Herbiana".  That's why I didn't ask her to suggest names... but if Herbert turns out to be a girl,  I'll call her Herbiana.

Small Person - lost count of the week

We didn't have Small Person last week as the lucky lady was at a pony camp, improving her riding and learning to jump.   It was great to have a break,  and I missed her.  Good on both points.

She was back with a vengeance on Monday.   Her first surprise was discovering that we had three new chicks,  and her second delighted surprise was learning that we wanted her to spend time with them. 

First,  I showed her how to let them out and to stand there until they had come out of the Run.  On no account was she to try and pick them up when letting them out.   We wanted them to learn that it was safe to come out when we were around, and that meant they had to learn they could do it  without being molested.

Later I showed her how to pick them up, and how to reward them with a little treat for being picked up.   And then how to sit down  and get them to come to her and to allow themselves to be stroked.   I checked to make sure that she was only letting them eat the interesting chick food (Garvo) when they were being stroked.  If they resisted, the food was removed.   The hardest lesson was getting her to leave them wanting more.

Later, we had mealworms and we rewarded them for letting us catch them.

She took us at our word and spent a large part of the three days playing with the chicks.

This morning I went in to the chick run and they were running around my feet.  Later, when I went out to play with them, they were flying up on my lap and arms as soon as I sat down.  I think, perhaps, I let Small Person play with them too much!

The shyest one is no longer shy, so that's a bit of a result.

It wasn't all chicks.   We had to pop into town, so we stopped for an emergency pancake.  We also made Nutella Lava Cake in the Microwave, which was horrendously sweet and I couldn't eat mine.  Small Person had misread the recipe so had used too much sugar.  We did the Allotmenteers, twice.  We had been planning to do a deep clean, but the weather wasn't dry enough.  

We'd also found an air rifle that was fairly light, and she had a go at target shooting with that, while we supervised.       As has become traditional this holiday, we watched a Wallace and Gromt film - this week we're up to A Matter of Loaf and Death. She also watched an episode of TaskMaster, which meant she stayed up far too late for a Small Person but she'd cleaned out the Garden Girls and the Chicks for me so she deserved it.

We played a Maths game which she likes (and needs, as she really does need the practice).  It's called Mobi, and I'm amazed that she asks to play it!    She did some labelling, helped DH, and we played table tennis.  Oh, she also cleared some weeds behind the greenhouse, I' can't squeeze down there.  She had a bit of a silly fit about a spider, and I tried to help her see how irrational this fear is.    It didn't help while she was standing there, but later she did say she could see that I was right and she'd try next time.

Just one more week to go!

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

The world keeps turning

I don't like not having a cockerel with the Allotmenteers.  There are a lot of them, all different ages,  and they need keeping in check.   A good cockerel looks out for his Ladies,  keeps watch for predators,  and stops any bullying.  There is still a hen pecking order, but the cockerel will usually stop it getting out of claw.

Camilla, number 11 out of 12 in the pecking order,  had been sticking close to Henry for some weeks,  and was right by his side for the last couple of days.  I'm worried that she'll get more pecked on than usual.  Souxsie Sioux, our smallest and oldest chook is number 12, and I think she'll suffer a bit too.

This time of year there are quite a lot of cockerels available, mant free to good home.   I thought about what I wanted:    a dual purpose breedd;  one that had been well handled; and a cockerel that had a chance of being good with us.     Oh, and something quickly.

 I did a local search, and found a lot of bantam cockerels, and cockerels from egg laying breeds.  Not so many dual purpose boys.    I then found an ad for a Vorwerk boy, 9 weeks old.   What a fab idea!  We could bring him home to the garden for a few weeks (until he started to crow), and we could get him used to us and used to being handled.  Perfect.

We retrieved the spare coop, which was a bit of a feat since DH has only one working arm at the mo.   We set it up, and I drove off to collect the lucky chap.    He's a little cutie pops.   We set him up in sight of the Garden Girls so he wouldn't feel too lonely.   Gloria escaped, and took an instant dislike to the interloper, and tried to peck him. 

As I watched him, I realised that he was going to have to be about 18 weeks old before I could try introducing him to the Girls at the allotment,  and 9 weeks was a long time for him to be "on his own".     I set about investigating getting a couple of similarly aged girls to grow on with him.

That was also harder than I expected.  I wanted to source locally,  I wanted something the right age,  and this time I wanted egg layers not dual purpose.   Once again, I found plenty of bantams.   I also found birds I didn't want: exchequer leghorns (I love leghorns,  but I still miss Lotti, my exchequer);  legbars (never again after that cow Milly) etc .

I found a chap who was selling 2 11 week old "legcanas" (Leghorn/Araucana cross).   I said "yes", and paid over the odds for them.  

The 3 of them are doing OK together at the moment,  I expect we'll see some jostling for position in the next few days.  That would happen even with hatchmates.

Small Person isn't here this week, and that's a shame. She would be a great asset to get them used to being handled!

Sunday, 13 August 2017

Tough call

We culled Henry today.

I caught him easily,  and fed him scrambled eggs which he gobbled down.   I checked him over, and tested his legs. He couldn't grip.  He tried to stand, but couldn't.  I stroked him while he ate.  I realised that it was better to get it over with, rather than drag it out.  I told himn how much I loved him, what a wonderful boy he was, and how good he had been with his ladies.  I apologised that we didn't have a son to take over from him. 

We both had to do it, because DH only has one operational arm at the mo.  Afterwards, I sobbed like - well, like a girl I suppose.  I sobbed because he was so lovely and I was so sorry.   I cried for Camilla,  who had spent the last week within a few feet of him. I cried because the line was ending.  I cried because culling is such a hard thing to do, even though it's the right thing to do.

My lovely, lovely boy.

Saturday, 12 August 2017

Surprise declutter

I had a very minor declutter of my utility room. Well, one half of one side of it anyway.

We'd decided to juice some pears.  For the first time in several years, the pears on the pear tree were not covered in canker.   I've been eating 1 or 2 a day, but now they are ripening and falling from the tree.   We wanted to at least try to do something with the ones that were left.

So, I went a picked a fair few.  We decided to juice them,  using the juicer I'd got from the bargain shelf at Lakeland last year (when we had so few apples it wasn't worth getting out the full apple pressing kit).   The juicing went well,  we chose to freeze the juice rather than pasteurising it.

I thought it might be a good idea to move the juicer so it was on our main worktop, along with our other "every day use" (slight cough) electricals. That way, I might actually use it. At least for the next month or two, while the fruit is ripening.

I made a space, which involved a bit of farting around,  and then a bit more farting around elsewhere in the kitchen.   I looked at the electric butter churn, and decided to find a permanent home for it in the utility room, rather than standing on the side.

Easier said than done.  The upshot of this is that I've decluttered a whole section of the utility room in order to get this fitted in.  The decluttered stuff is now sitting on the floor, next to the computer, in the living room.  I've been photographing it and listing it for sale (or as freebies).  If the items don't go by tomorrow, I'll give them to a charity shop.

I have to do it quickly, other wise there is a risk that I'll start thinking "Maybe I'll use that after all".  That's what happened last time I got the Tefal Jam Maker out to sell it.    I haven't used it since then, I seem to prefer my maslin pan.    I think I kept it because it makes divine rice pudding..... but my Instant Pot also makes good rice pudding. As the Instant Pot is always in use, it's out on the worktop, so I'm never going to get round to using the Tefal Jam Maker for it.

Thursday, 10 August 2017

Ageing and CBA

When I was younger - not a lot younger - I had a tremendous ability to grit my teeth and power on through long, tiring, jobs.   I've lost that determination somewhere along the line.

My kitchen is in a bit of a state.  Quite a bit of a state.  Well, truth be told, it's quite a lot of  a state.  It needs a proper clean, a tackle-each-cupboard-fully clean.     Not so long ago I would have taken a deep breath, and just done it. Cupboard after cupboard after cupboard,  motoring on until it was ALL done. It wouldn't matter if it took me one day, or two days.  It would all be done.  All of it.  Stopping only for the occasional cup of tea. 

Now, I'm suffering from an acute case of CBA, and it's more like I'm farting around and stopping for the occasional emptying of a cupboard.  Today I did two, including the corner cupboard where all the plates, bowls, serving dishes live.    I had to suppress a giggle when I realised I was actually feeling a sense of accomplishment for having emptied and cleaned it out, put stuff back,  and got a small pile to be distributed between "charity shop" and "bin".   

When did I become so feckless?!

Last week I'd cleaned 3 tall wall cupboards,  1 normal base cupboard,  the corener cupboard where the frying pans, mixing bowls,  large cake tins etc are, and under the sink.  It took me three days to do them.  Well, it took me a few hours, spread over 3 days.

I'm going to do the drawer unit next.  That will mean I'll be 1/3rd of the way through.

At this rate I won't be done by Christmas!

Time passes

It's been over 5 weeks - FIVE weeks! - since DH had his op, nearly 6 since his accident.  It's gone past in a bit of a blur really.

I need matchsticks to prop open my eyes, mainly because I'm not sleeping through the night. 

He's doing really well, and he's also trying to do too much.   We arranged some physio for his upper arm, and we ended up buying a massage table so that I could try and do the physio at home.  Muxed success.  Still, any physio (done correctly) is better than no physio.  

I'm keeping the tomatoes going, just about.   We haven't done anything with them, apart from eat a few and give the burst ones to the chooks.   We keep meaning for me to pick some pears and juice them,  but the time just runs out.  Sometimes it feels that sorting out the cats meds, doing the Allotment chooks each day (OC has been away for a couple of weeks or so),  visits to get the dressings changed,  physio appointments,  there isn't much time for much else.  It's not true, of course, it just feels that way.

Last week I tried to use my new (to me) multi needle embroidery machine.  I'd had it a month and, due to DH's accident, I hadn't used it.  I couldn't remember anything.  I'd bought a tee shirt for Small Person (SP) , and attempted to embroider a flowing horses head on it.  Unfortunately, I managed to catch a bit of the hem on the back (grrrr!),  but it was a scalloped hem and the snip wasn't obvious.    I learned a lot in that 20 minutes.

This week I made SP's mum a birthday card,  and I used my new Durkee frames to do it, so that was also an achievement.   I then tried to use the Durkee frame to make SP a tooth fairy door hanger.  SP chose the fabrics (cue much complaining about how difficult the choice was).   I got stuck in an error loop, and no amount of reading the manual helped.   I had SP yapping on (and on) while I was trying to figure it out,  and in the end  I gave up and used a normal hoop, and that worked OK. 

Small Person (SP) has been here for 3 days this week, and it's been an interesting time.  She's been excellent company as always,  helping me with the allotment chooks,  looking after our garden girls, etc.   The weather this week has mostly been appallingly wet,  but we did manage to get to the park on 3 occasions to try and play table tennis.  That went surprisingly well,  and now we can sustain short rallies so we're improving.

She's had some specific projects to work on,  like sorting out DH's pound coin collection (SP is fascinated by coins, and always spots "rare" (well, less common ones, and  she's usually right!). She had to use the laminator for this, and the labeller, and organise things.

We made a lovely courgette lemon drizzle cake for her mum (we made one last week for ourselves, it was scrummy);    after a bit of a wrestle with my new embroidery machine, I made her a "tooth fairy" door hanger (she has some wobbly milk teeth);  and I can't remember the rest.

I do know that she is obviously starting to feel settled here, because she's had a couple of short sulky fits.    The biggest one was in the car,  because I said "No" to making Angel Delight for her.  I had made some for her (us) the day before, and she loved it, and wanted more.   I refused, saying it was a special, occasional treat.       Wow, what a sulk!

I explained that sulking was not going to make me change my mind, in fact it would make me even more determined to say no.    The sulking continued for  the rest of the car journey.   I could see that she was trying to get herself out of the sulk (something I striggle to do myself, actually), so when she made overtures, I helped her out.    No, we didn't have the Angel Delight.  We did, however, have pains au chocolat while watching A Close Shave We had watched A Grand Day Out and The Wrong Trousers last week.

She's been trying to get the two light birds to stand on her arm.  Poor Girls.  She does seem to manage to pick up Sasha quite a bit. I told her to try and give her a little treat each time she picks her up, so that Sasha associates being picked up with getting a reward.    It seems to be working.

We don't have her next week, and that's good.  I can use the time to catch up on neglected home duties,  and maybe try and resolve that embroidery machine error.

Friday, 4 August 2017

Bye bye Batty

As soon as I arrived on the Allotment yesterday, I saw that Batty was not her normal sprightly self.

 I noticed a couple of weeks  ago that she had lost some weight, but she was eating well, barging her way around, and being very sprightly.  I mentioned the weight loss to DH, and said  that I thought she might need to be dispatched before long.

There was no change to her demeanour, until yesterday.  Yesterday she wasn't interested in courgettes, or corn,  and she seemed to be not quite all there.   I caught her, checked her over for wounds, gave her some Nutridrops.   It was possible that she was brewing a softy,  although I didn't think so.   She didn't seem in any distress,  we didn't really have any suitable dispatching implement, so we decided we'd take something with us today so we could do the deed if she hadn't improved.

She was in the coop, on the floor, already dead, when we arrived.    I'm glad we didn't have to dispatch her ourselves;  DH is one armed at the moment, so we would have been worried about not doing it cleanly. 

She was a lovely, friendly, cheeky girl.   She and her sister Norah are our last remaining offspring of Roo and Rose.  Rose was one of the original Welsh Black girls we brought back from Castle Farm when we settled on having an Indian Game cross breed for our table birds.  Roo was already there, we'd had him for a year I think by then,  he was our first home-hatched cockerel. We hatched him and two girls for the table,  but when it came to it we couldn't do it. We'd got too attached to the 3 of them.

The young Batty

Grown-up Batty
Batty had a relatively long and happy free range life.   She was so characterful, I'll miss her.  I'm pleased we still have Norah, although at over 6 she may not have that long to go.

A lot of them are senior citizhens now, so I'm trying to be mentally prepared for it.

Goodnight sweetheart xxx

Tuesday, 1 August 2017

Small Person, week 2.

Summer holidays are here, and that means we get to spend time with Small Person (SP) for a few days each week :-)

Mostly we just carry on with our normal routine, and SP joins in and helps.  Sometimes I save things to do that I know she'll like: for example, if there is any labelling to do, I make a note on a memo thing on the fridge, and SP gets out the labeller and does it for me.

We usually have her 3 days a week, and she stays over for one night.  She'd like to stay over for both nights (probably because she gets to stay up ridiculously late), but I am a firm believer in leaving them wanting more. So in the long holidays, we stick to one night.

She likes to have things that she's in charge of.  So, she gets to collect eggs (I try not to  collect them on the days she's not here, so she has plenty to collect) and she writes the date on them and puts them on the Egg Skelter.  She lets the Girls out and puts them in as necessary, and gives them their treats. If they need cleaning out, she does that.  She helps me with worming, heath checking, and playing with them.

She comes to the allotment and gets on with unlocking everything, cleaning and refilling waterers, collecting eggs.   At home, she measures out some of the cat meds. She goes to the shop (we're lucky the shop is very close by) to get Bagels for lunch.  She fills the bird feeders.  If she stays over on Air Rifle night, she comes to the Club with us.

She also takes on other "jobs". Picking (and eating) tomatoes and cucumbers.  She mowed the grass yesterday, which was an amazing feat as the lawnmower is big and heavy.   She did some weeding.  We do some cooking.  I've made her various articles of clothing (none of which have been particularly well sewn, I'm still learning) and she always seems pleased with them.

She's also been helping DH kit out his workshop, she's not just a girly girl. Today's task has been laying interlocking matting. He couldnt do it on his own because he's one handed at the mo.

She asks questions all the time, about anything and everything.  Some are easy to answer, some are more tricky.   She learned last holiday about fertilised eggs (why you don't need a cockerel to have eggs but you do if you want chicks,  what a fertilised egg actually is,  why a fertilised wgg won't necessarily result in a chick,  what incubation is,  what is thw difference between a hen incubating and us using an incubator,  why hens go broody even if they don't have eggs.... etc). 

This time we've had some detailed questions about chicken breeding.  Today's line of questioning started with "If we wanted to have Gloria hatch eggs,  would we take Gloria doen to the allotment to be with Henry, or would we bring Henry to the Garden?"    I explained that we probably wouldn't do either, we might put fertilised eggs fro one of the other Girls under Gloria, or actually we might consider bringing in fertile eggs from outside to refresh the bloodline.  She likes full and honest answers, and she remembers the details.  If we didn't tell her that bringing in outside eggs was a possibility, and then we did this next year,  she'd feel that we hadn't told her the truth. 

So, today's discussion included explaining Henry's relationship to various Allotmenteers, and why there were two girls (his full sisters) that we wouldn't breed with him   

It's not all just "work" though.  We go out sometimes (although she seems just as happy at home, as long as we're 'doing'  something).  We (rarely, special treat) have a water fight.    I bought a pop up pool to use, but the weather has been rubbish,  certain;uy not good enough to warrant ruiing our grass over.

She eats whatever we put in front of her, doesn't always like it but it's not a drama when that happens.  She loves to pick the vegetables from the garden and eat those.

She enjoys being here,  and tells her mum all about everything she's done (however mundane it may seem to us).   It won't be long before coming to us will be a bit of a bind for her,  so I'm happy to enjoy it while we can