Caking and Baking

Another bargain I picked up, in November I think, was an Ankarsrum Assistent.  I bought it to make bread, especially sourdough.  We've usd it several times, but not enough yet for it for m to use it without thinking.  If it stays,  it may replace Boris (my Bosch stand mixer).  I haven't tried it as a mixer yet,  it's on my ever increasing list of things that need to be done.

December also meant Christmas cakes and cards.

I made the poinsettia. It's free standing lace embroidery,  3 parts.  Emma, my embroidery machine, behaved impeccably. I was very grateful as  I hadn't planned on making the cake topper and it was a bit last minute.   I'd bought a resin Father Christmas from John Lewis,  but when I unwrapped it to use it, I found it was covered in glitter. No good on a cake.

I didn't take a pic of the Creole cake. I wish I had.  Small Person has an allergy to walnuts and pecans,  which meant I had to rethink how I did the glazed nut topping.  I was quite pleased with the results. 

I also didn't take a pic of my wreath until just now. One of my boars has disappeared!  It's a bit of a shame as I have had them since the first year I made my own wreath and they've been on every one. In fact, the wreath looks quite bare in a whole section, so I wonder if other things have been removed as well.?  Oh well.

One fail this year: I made Nigella's Puddini. I made some a few years ago and thought they were delicious.   I wasn't so keen this year, which is a shame as I made extra puddings to have the basic ingredient. I also have quite a lot of Pedro Jimenez sherry, the second main ingredient,  which is painfully sweet.  It's a bit too sweet for me.

I'm sure there were lots of other things, but I just can't think of them.

Nostalgia

I've been creating a birthday card for Small Person. 

I like to put lots of photos inside, of the things she's done with us during the year.   I thought it would be a good memory jogger for her in years to come.   It was an enjoyable romp for me too, although I was a little sad that there were lots of things that didn't have photos.

One of my favourite photos is a still from one of the (many) videos I took when I was helping her learn to cartwheel. 

She's wearing one of the collection of Cora Cullotes that I made for her, and they are great for this sort of thing.

Needled.

I've been busy making stuff.

I managed to create a mock wrap top, for me.   It took a lot of tweaking to get a really good fit. Now I've made a pattern, it should be relatively easy to make up. I really like it, and I plan to make more from a variety of fabrics.


I also made a fab jumper to wear to my MIL's funeral, finishing it the morning we left.  It was made with black fabric that had silver stars on, and as soon as I saw the fabric I knew that it would be perfect: her name is Stella.  It's lovely. Not my best make, but it's wearable.. and every time I wear it, I will think of her.   

I picked up a bargain of a child sized mannequin,  and we've set it it up to Small Person's measurements.  It's been really helpful, as I can test things as I sew.

I made a sweatshirt for small person, which was a much easier sew than I expected. I'm going to try it with a hood next time.

I also made her some leggings, but the fabric was less stretchy than usual and so they didn't fit.   I also made leggings for me, and kept making them until I got a pattern that fits reasonably well.  I need to make some more to wear to Pilates, they are on my list of things to do.

I've now moved on to making small person a raglan sleeved top.  It was again easier than I expected, and I can see why it's a favourite design from a lot of indy pattern makers. I love it! I hope she does.  I can't finish it until I see her because I need to get the arm length sorted.

And then I'm planning on making her a dress for her birthday, but I need to psyche myself up for that one.

Goodbye my dear

It was the funeral of my beloved Mother in Law (BMIL) yesterday.

As one might expect, my heart and my eyes cried a lot, and I tried to do it quietly.  BMIL was a private person, and would have been embarrassed by unrestrained blubbing.    After the service, we stood by the coffin in silence, each saying our own personal goodbye.

 I stood there, with my hand gently on the coffin (telepathically explaining to my BMIL that I was only touching it gently because I know she didn't like to be hugged).  I had already thought about what I wanted to say to her,  and I said my speech to her (again, by telepathy).  The internally spoken words, and the feelings they represented, intensified my need to sob.  I wanted to finish my conversation, and I wanted to leave before I couldn't keep the sobs under control.

Ironically, my attempts at suppressing the sobs took up all the oxygen in my lungs, and I needed to breathe.  The suppressing of the blubs backfired, almost literally. 

Inadvertenly, and most embarrassingly,  an attempted gasp for breath resulted in a howl.

I was mortified.

Naturally, people assumed I was wailing in grief. 

I was very upset and I was indeed very emotional, but I wasn't howling.    Having people try to comfort me, at my apparent enormous emotional distress, was awful.     I felt like I'd made a scene, people would look at me and think I was a drama queen.    I felt a fraud.    

I tried to explain, to those attempting to comfort me, that I wasn't howling in grief, it had been an involuntary sound when I was gasping for breath... but as I was trying to explain,  I realised that the explanation was almost worse than the howling.

I miss her.

I've missed her for a long time.  Alzheimers is such a cruel disease.