I've started and stopped writing a blog post countless times over the last couple of months. Even this one, I've stalled trying to decide exactly what to - and what not to - write.
Let me start by getting the pity party out of the way.
Last time I posted, I mentioned that I'd pulled something behind my knee. That little mis-step has had severe consequences.
I'm still waiting for a scan, my GP surgery filed the letter from the MSK team instead of actioning it, and I didn't follow up until 4 weeks after referral (6 weeks since the incident) had passed.
For the first 6 weeks, I was unable to sleep on my side at all. I tried the suggestions of a pillow in numerous places, the pain was just impossible. I ended up sleeping on my back, and the consequences of that have been dreadful.
I'm now in as much pain as I was 3 years 3 months ago, when I went to A&E to tell them my circulation was stopping at night. Those symptoms are back with a vengeance, worse than before. At night, my back feels like all the air has been sucked out of it.
I can't get down on the floor to do the fascia stretching exercises that have helped keep things under control. I'm struggling to do the standing exercises (or the seated exercises) that I've been working on to try and build up the strength in my trapezius muscles.
Anyway, it's made life very difficult, t's made doing the clearing even more of a challenge, and it's made me (even) more short tempered.
The belly breathing provides short term relief for some of the pain. I 'm trying to do wall exercises to keep things moving.
One thing I have realised is that my heart rate, already on the slow side, is well below 50bpm for long periods, on the nights when I am in most pain. I've asked for a respiratory referral, ideally to the sleep consultant I saw before I started on CPAP, as they may be able to monitor and interpret whats happening to me overnight.
I don't know how long it will take.
On the plus side, at least I've found out now that all the underlying issues are still there. All the work I have done over the last 3 years has alleviated some of the symptoms, but hasn't fixed the root cause. And it's better to find that out now rather than in another 10 years.
